I have a magical feeling that I'm getting closer to finding peace in a religion and I'm really excited. I'm planning on reading the Quran soon after researching Islam for the past four months. I'm nervous though because I know my family isn't going to like it.

I think it's unfair how my mom didn't say anything when my brother was interested in Judaism but my family likes to pick on me about either my boyfriend or me converting. They don't take our relationship seriously and my boyfriend's family is going to *hopefully*

ask for my hand...but they want to do things culturally and ask my mom and my brother if he can marry me. I'm afraid my family would humiliate me in front of his family, my twin brother already told me he won't go if we get married and he would try to prevent us from being together.

I've told all of this to my boyfriend and he tells me not to worry but it's something thats always on my mind. I have a sinking feeling that if I convert I could find happiness and feel like my life has a purpose but I would most likely lose my family.

But he accepted into his. I have never felt comfortable or happy with Christianity I don't want to read a bible that has been abridged my man and I don't want to sit through a sermon crafted to resemble "survivor" so that it's more interesting. I don't want to know that my donations paid for the new plasma TVs in the lobby of the church.

I have a strong feeling things are going to change soon and for the better :D It's my personal goal to get engaged in 6 months. Starting October so I'm praying for March it's fitting because our birthdays are during that month and it would be so romantic. Pray for me guys.